fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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