I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
