singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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