Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
