it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
