Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
