remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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