I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
