Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
