K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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