Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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