I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Randomize
