What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize