You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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