Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
