I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I wish i was in the wii world.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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