Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
