do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
