Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
You were trust falling into bushes
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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