is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
