also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
