You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
