hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
