Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
