508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
