Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
It's no shave November. This is our time.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
