She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
