Can i not drive my cunt home
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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