none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
