As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
