Plan B is the new Plan A
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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