CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
