I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
