Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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