The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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