Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I AM VODKA MAN
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
