How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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