it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
