Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
i believe in u and ur pee
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
