i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
