just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
