i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
