Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
