**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
