wanna go halves on a baby?
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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