Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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