I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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