What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
