I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
