so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
We are all done wearing pants today
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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