i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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