so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
This is classic penis vs brain.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
