I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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