just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
her facebook's as public as her vagina
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
