I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
