Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize