I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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